Analyzing everything
Michael
Coming home, I put Susie down and opened the door. I took her hand and we walked in. I turned on the lights, and everything lit up. Looking at the place where I had spent twelve years with my family, nothing felt the same. The cabin was immaculate as always, just as Laura had left it before going out to confront Terra. I don’t know what went through her head, or what made her think this was a good idea. But I’m certain this was not the result she expected.
But my daughter distracted me from my thoughts when I felt tugs on my hand. I lowered my head, and she was looking at me with a lot of uncertainty.
Shit, Laura, why did you have to do things this way?
I was furious and disappointed, but seeing my daughter, I forced a slight smile, and crouched down, until our faces were level. Up close, I saw her red eyes, and evidently sad. I hugged her, and after a few seconds, I felt her arms around me.
“Dad, what’s going to happen to Mom? Why is everyone so mad at her, and especially you? She didn’t do anything wrong. All she wanted was to protect us from that bad woman”, Susie said, causing me to take a deep breath. How to answer that? Because looking at it from her perspective, Laura did what she had to do. And if I were in her place, I don’t know what I would have done. But surely, I would not have allowed another to destroy the peace of my house.
Shit, Laura, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry.
I pulled away from my daughter, and leaned back, making sure she looked me in the eye, and when she did, I told her, “Your Mom meant well. She tried to fight for her family and protect her territory, but… the way she chose was wrong.” Taking a breath, I continue, “She hurt her, and twice. You were there, you saw what happened.” Susie looked down, embarrassed by her participation, I was sure of that. She wouldn’t have done it if it weren’t for her mother’s influence on her. Forcing her to be there.
But I needed her attention on me, so I lifted her chin, so she could see me again, and then said, “After hurting Terra and putting more of the pack members at risk, she decided to run away, rather than face her actions bravely. Your mother fled. What she did was against the laws of the wolves. Everything in this life has consequences, Susie, everything. I am the Alpha, and she acted against my orders, challenging me in front of everyone, and taking advantage of her position in the hierarchy. You know that, right?”
Susie hesitated, but after a few moments, she nodded her head, and then said, “I want to see my Mom and know that she’s okay. When can I see her?”
Shit, the question I had no answer.
“I don’t know, daughter. After this, she won’t be able to set foot on our territory. Your mom left voluntarily, giving up the bond that unites us as a pack.”
Her eyes began to crystallize and at the same time turned red. Susie’s face transformed from confusion to anger, and yelling, she said, “Mom was right, it was all your fault. Since that woman arrived, everything changed. And now I no longer have a mother.” And without giving me time to respond, she ran up the stairs straight to her bedroom, slamming the door.
My eyes followed her, as I was unable to move or go after her. I closed my eyes and bowed my head, then I opened them and got up. I went to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water since my throat was dry. After, I went to the table and took a seat, putting the glass on the table in front of me. There I started to think, remembering from the moment we met, when my father died, the moment she gave me the news that I was going to be a father. Twelve years together. But now everything is gone. Could I blame Terra for this? Yes, but at the same time no. If I’d been mentally stronger after what happened with my father, I wouldn’t have succumbed to Laura’s advances. I knew she wasn’t for me, I felt it. But I did it anyway.
Laura, my wife, was gone, and I didn’t know how to react to such a magnitude. I loved her, yes, but there was always something that did not let me fully enjoy my life. And what about my daughter? I know that her heart is suffering, and how can I not understand that? Her mother will no longer be there to take care of her, take her to school, give her mother’s love, or watch her grow. I don’t know if they will see each other again one day, or what Laura will do in the future. I was so hurt and confused. This shouldn’t have happened. We could have found another solution, but not this. We didn’t even discuss the separation or anything. I also didn’t tell her I was going to leave her for Terra, and I would never have meant to. Laura must have seen something in this situation that made her react this badly, or in me.
I spent several hours there, analyzing my past and present life, thinking about what I would do next. And I was sure of one thing, and that was that I had to fix things with my daughter. I had to show her that I would always be by her side and that I would never stop being her father. Terra could wait, the pack could wait, and the world may wait, so I’m going to dedicate these days to my daughter. Convince her that she still about still has me. Moreover, that time away will serve me to know my feelings.
And being clear about what I would do, I mentally link to Logan, “Beta, I will be away for a few days. I don’t know when I’ll be back, so you’ll be responsible for everything until I get back.”
“Michael, are you okay?” Logan asked.
“Yes, but I need time to settle my thoughts. Susie is not well, and I have to be with her”.
“I get it Alpha, what about Terra? What to do with her?
I swallowed, reflecting, and then I replied, “Don’t let her walk alone through the territory. Someone could attack her. Keep her in the cabin we assigned her and send someone to stand guard. Also, provide her with whatever she needs.”
“Good luck, Michael, and I hope you find what you are looking for.”
Without saying anything else, we broke the connection,
I got up from the chair and, straightened my back, and then, I headed to my daughter’s bedroom.